Good start to the day...

That feeling you get whenever you are inexplicably happy and you aren't sure there is just 1 reason for it.

Things just seem really good today. They're good usually, but this is special. Valentine's Day is approaching around the corner, and though we won't be doing anything in particular on the actual day of, we will be spending the following Saturday doing whatever the hell we want. I live for these days. The days when I get to be with her with nothing else going on. Those are the best. Nothing else in the world to get in the way. Just us.

When I look into her eyes and I see them light up it warms my heart like something out of a bad romance movie or novel. It's not the life-going-at-90-miles-per-hour kind of fun that I enjoy the most, but the moments when we both take a breath and come back down to the Earth's surface with the rest of the mortals and we look at each other. It's the gentle, soft, kind of passionate kiss that we share that makes the torch I carry for her even brighter. Even more intense.

The week can seem routine. I wake up. I go to the job I dislike. I do the same job I've been doing since I was 17. I go home. I exercise. And with the remaining 5-7 hours, I'm free to do anything I like, or sleep. But not both. And as bland and soul-sucking as that may seem, whenever I spend my time with her, I couldn't care less about what little time I have, or what I'm not getting done. What's important is that I get to see that smile and that I get to be the one that holds her close.

So even though there are many things about her that make me happy, I guess I can really say that it actually does come down to 1 thing that is making me so happy today. All of these little things come from 1 person. Her. My Gretchen. The love of my life. The one that I cannot see myself without. The idea of what our future holds, hours from now and years from now, fills me with so much joy and hope for the days, months, and years to come.

So. Good start to the day... The kind of start that makes the flame bigger and reminds you of the love you felt when you decided to grant your own wishes by taking that leap of faith and kissing that beautiful woman who laid right beside you on that fateful night.

A Day In The Sun

That's what it was.

I recall waking up and it already being past noon. A typical weekend, where all I do is sleep half the day way before finding something that I need to get done. But something was different about this particular day. It was very bright, very ambient, very pretty. The weather had finally gotten to be in sync with the supposed season.

It was warm, but not overbearingly hot.

It was cool, but not frigid.

It blue, without a single cloud in the sky.

And it was beautiful, because she was there every step of the way.

We spent the day in the crowded boardwalk of Kemah. There, we spent the day acting like a the goofy pair we are. Making silly faces on one ride, turning that silly face into a hilarious face mixed with ear-piercing screams on the next, riding a train that's meant for toddlers and yelling "too fast!" Every moment was pure fun! But isn't that every moment we spend together anyway? It sure is.

I'm very excited for Galveston. We are going for our 1 year. I can't believe that she's never been before. I hope she has a lot of fun. I'm very excited to show her one great time after the next. Anything we do is fine by me, just so long as I get to see that smile that I love so much.

Less than 20 days left and we will hit a whole year together.

Where did that time go...?

Once upon a time we didn't even know each other, only to have met at an audition, and to meet again by chance in another show. A friendship started to grow (but not much, at my own fault). Soon a friendship turned into a bond. And then that bond turned into feelings. Like a fool, I tried to push them away. I tried to deny what I felt and it all came spilling out in a single, sudden, kiss.

Definitely not Shakespeare, but I'd willingly be stupid all over again if it meant being exactly where I am now.

I love her more than anything, and I never want to see this end.

Goodness...

I can't believe we are less than a month away from being together for a full year. I have no idea where the time went. It just doesn't seem real. Every moment we've had together has just been complete bliss. There have been some days where we had challenges to face, but we supported each other through our hardships and have only grown closer.

Every time I look into her eyes, I see so much more than the beauty in front of me. I see a life together. I see many more years to come. I see all the great things that could be, and I want it! I want it so badly! It's weird that our entire relationship has been in the running-through-a-field-of-flowers-in-slow-motion mode for so long, now.

I am afraid of screwing things up, but I will not let that get in my way. I love her more than anything else in this world. I want to continue to love her for as long as I live, and I see a very great possibility of that with how things are. I want to create so many wonderful memories with her.

Every time I'm with her, I'm so relaxed. So free. And every time I'm not with her, I think on all the wonderful things we will do the next time I see her. Whether it's laying around watching Doctor Who, getting 14-year-olds eaten by a T-Rex, making plastic cup music, or randomly going out at 10 in the evening to get a cake ('cause why not), every moment is the best moment ever.

I love her so much, I can't even fathom how I've lived so long without her.

I love you, Gretchen.

The Call

It's been quite some time, but I have finally answered the call of the theatre. A relationship that has been on hiatus since September of last year, I am in Stage Door, Inc.'s presentation of "Little Shop of Horrors" as the loud-mouthed, carnivorous plant, Audrey II. Tonight is opening night and I am very excited about it, and very nervous. I'm happy to be in another show with Gretchen (our Audrey). Watching her in a show is always fantastic, but being in one with her is a huge treat in itself. To see her give her all to make a character grow from words on a page to a physical person, complete with blonde hair and funny accent, is an exciting process. I am so proud of her. This is her favorite show and the roll she's wanted for a long time, and I'm so happy to be able to be a part of it. The amount of talent she possesses is, in a word, astounding. I only wish I had even a fraction of what she has.

But as for my nerves, it all comes down to this: it's opening night, the plants are tought to operate while singing, and my arms and back hurt. Break a leg!

Times Like These

It's days like this that make me feel like the happiest person alive. Days where we can act like 5 year olds around the house and have more fun than someone who spend a small fortune on a crazy awesome vacation. When we are together, laughing and loving, nothing else matters. Through every painful gasp that fills our lungs back up from all of the ab ripping laughter, the baracading of bathroom doors, and the petrified screams of what sounds like the highest note playable on a violin, all I know is that this is what paradise is. It's where your heart resides when you are most happy.

It's here. With her.

Did you know...

...that you're the best thing that's ever happened to me?

It's true. As every day passes, I'm never resentful of my decision to be with you, never worried that I might have made a mistake, and I never dwell on anything that makes me upset. You have not done a single thing to make me feel worry or doubt in us in the almost-year we've been together.

Instead all you have done is make me love you more and more each day. So when I'm here at work during the day, or somewhere else where I can't be with you, all I have to do is think about everything we have, everything we have done, and everything we will do, and I smile the biggest smile.

I love you, Gretchen. And I don't think anything will ever change that.

So face it... You're kinda stuck with me.

Love,

Your Lizord

A Better Week

I'll admit, though I had a very heartfelt post about how happy I was with my life, last week I was kinda disappointed. I had been too busy during the day and evenings to see Gretchen and it was seriously putting me down. Even on Valentine's Day, we only saw each other for maybe an hour. It really was a cruddy week for seeing each other.

But with the Friday show with Sundown Audio coming to a close, my time has freed up some. Now we are in the rehearsal period for Little Shop of Horrors, we have seen each other more and it feels great. It's true what they say, about not being around someone for a good amount of time and the reunion being the sweetest thing. Never thought I'd wish a hug could last all night.

We're getting closer and closer to our one year. I really want to make it special for her. She deserves it. When I'm with her I feel like anything is possible and that she's all I'll ever truly need. Doesn't mean I'm gonna hope to work hard enough to be rich and get everything I want, as well. But as of right now, I have what I want. And I have what I need.

Her.

And I never want it to end.

-Colton